You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
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