Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
