Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm really busy with my period
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