drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
