saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
