i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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