woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
