Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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