yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
