So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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