If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
why didn't you poke me back
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
