You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
