your thong is hanging out like whoa
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
PANTIES FOUND
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