I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
