I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
