How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
