Nicole vs. Life
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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