return my video game
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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