Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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