If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
