Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
