I'm so fucking centered right now
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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