I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Randomize
