'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
