If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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