he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
