this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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