dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
