I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
