I'll bet she douches with gravy.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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