she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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