i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
