i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
