Porn is love you can see.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
