Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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