U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
