she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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