he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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