Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
