So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
