exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
