Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
