I met the friendliest cop last night
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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