Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
