we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
