Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
