ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
