I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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