You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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