When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
