my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
