my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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