i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
