I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
